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Archive for the ‘Randomness’ Category

Natalie McLaughlin: Beyond Crazy

Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014

Ladies and gentleman, I feel it is my civil duty as a fairly decent human being on this planet we call Earth to make you all aware of Natalie McLaughlin. Why you may say? All in due time my friends. All in due time. But if I may start by prefacing that in no way shape or form is this post meant to be malicious or vindictive. It is merely meant to hopefully educate others about this woman and her unsettling behavior.

You see, Ms. Natalie McLaughlin works as a recruiter in the Metro Detroit area and had added me as a contact on the popular social media site for professionals, LinkedIn. Over the past year I would get emails every couple of months saying “Congratulate Natalie McLaughlin on the new job!” and it sparked my interests on whether I was just getting overly spammed by LinkedIn because I never told my “good old pal” congrats or if she was actually going through THAT many jobs. Turns out, it was the latter. This person whose job it is to find other people jobs can’t even hold down a position with a company for more than a couple of months at a time. That’s pretty scary and concerning if you ask me.

So like I said, my interest was sparked as to what the heck was going on with her situation. I know I should have just minded my own business, but I just couldn’t so I messaged her to find out and here is the fallout and aftermath. Now I must state for the record none of these images have been doctored in any way shape and form. These are straight screenshots from LinkedIn’s Inbox as well as my Gmail account.


Okay I will be the first to admit AGAIN that I probably could have phrased my initial question better and she had every right to fire back at me and I am even fine with her telling me to “go fuck myself”. I apologized and said my peace so I figured we were done and would both go on our merry little ways. OH HOW I WAS WRONG! This was only the start. She got ahold of my personal email address and what ensued was just pure madness. Now while I find this whole thing rather humorous, her comments were so over the line that she cannot even see the line anymore. I honestly feel sad for her and cannot believe that someone who deems themselves to be a professional thinks it is perfectly rational and/or okay to talk to anyone like this. I could see a punk teenager acting this way, but not a grown adult.



My jaw is still on the floor in shock and awe over her comments from last night. I am very thick skinned, always have been and always will be, so while her comments did sting a bit I brushed them off. Originally I was just going to add her email address to my Spam list and block her on LinkedIn, but she took things to a whole new level. This morning when I got in to work I noticed the little light flashing on my phone indicating that I had a new voicemail. I open up my work email and proceed to see that it was from (734) 837-XXXX and I thought it was one of our guys out in the field looking for an update on a case or seeking assistance for a new issue. Yup, wrong again! I open up the audio file on my PC and immediately hear “YOU FAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!” at which point I quickly hit the STOP button. Of course I am providing it to you all for your listening pleasure. This pretty much proves that she is unstable and has officially crossed the line from being an internet bully to a full on cyber stalker.

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#MINDBLOWN is all I can really say regarding this woman and what has gone down in the last 24 hours. Now my work is getting involved as she has officially harassed me at my place of employment. Honestly, if I can shed the light about her to just one company or client that has any inkling of interest in doing business with her I have done my job. Natalie McLaughlin, I am sorry, but you did this to yourself. I will forgive you because that is the type of man my Momma raised me to be, but I just hope you get the help you need to control that temper of yours before you bark up the wrong tree and something worse than this happens.

Sarlacc Pit Not Included

Monday, August 19th, 2013

This apartment posted on Craigslist sounds like the perfect living situation, that is if you’re a non-heroin user looking to share a home that isn’t haunted, hasn’t been the site of very many animal sacrifices and doesn’t contain a Sarlacc Pit.

Original Post

Hi there! Are you looking for a room to rent in a nice, quiet home in a quiet area of town? Perhaps you are a college student looking for some off campus housing. Or (preferably), you’re an exchange student who speaks about 15 words of English and spends 14 hours a day at the library. Well if so, then do I have the rental for you!

I currently live in a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom standalone single family home by myself. The house is very nice, and comes ghost and demon free. There have been 0 murders and little to no animal sacrifices in the backyard. Rent is $500 a month and that includes all utilities. The house also has a washer and dryer, but does not include a Sarlacc pit (sorry!).

I work a lot and am not home that often. When I am home, I’m a relatively quiet person. I promise not to take pictures of you while you sleep and sell them on the internet (unless you’re Mila Kunis, in which case I will be installing 24/7 spy cams in your room).

Things I like:
Video Games
The occasional beer
Not doing heroin

Things you should like:
A clean house
Not doing heroin

Your room has a total of three (3) windows, all of which let in sunlight. If you are a vampire I do not suggest applying for this room unless you are a daywalker. I also would prefer if you were not a werewolf as I think that the damages to the house would eat into the security deposit rather quickly.

Pictures of your room are attached. See that shit? You’ve got a CLOSET, some bangin’ ass windows and your very own DOOR! That thing’s even got a lock with a key. How modern!

Please apply if you sound interested, and if you don’t do heroin.

Thank you!

P.S. – No heroin

….this message sent while not using heroin.

The reason for this hilariously unusual post?

I had a friend of mine who was staying with me who I was subletting a room to. I knew he was a recovering heroin addict and had been clean for a while. One day I woke up and found my XBox 360 gone along with my roommate. I instantly knew what had happened so I bought a bunch of security system stuff from Home Depot, and I changed my locks, thinking it would help the situation. I posted the ad on Craigslist right after that happened.

Two days later I came home from work to find my $1,500 TV missing. I moved all of my stuff out of my home and into my parents’ house, afraid that all of my stuff would get taken little by little. My roommate contacted me a few days later, apologetic and letting me know he wanted to pay me back for it. Two days later he went to rehab and I haven’t heard from him since.

Daniel says that after putting up the Craigslist ad he heard from the former roommate that “his other junkie friends knew about his location” and that he’s since decided to move to a new home.

Move Over Jaws!

Tuesday, July 30th, 2013

First there was “Sharknado” an epic tale of a freak hurricane that hits Los Angeles, causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in water spouts and flooding the city with shark-infested seawater. Now there is “Ghost Shark”, not to be confused with “Ghost Dad” starring Bill Cosby. I can see how you could get the two confused and think they were one in the same, but I assure you they are entirely different movies. The premise for “Ghost Shark” goes a little something like this.

Last Fourth of July, teenager Christy Bruce disappeared from a high school beach party. Her severed arm washed ashore a day later. Drunken sea captain Blaise Shaw became a hero to the small seaside community of Harmony after killing the great white shark that was deemed responsible, but the Christy Bruce murder was no shark attack. Blaise turns to ghost hunter Ava Conte, who is skeptical but intrigued by his ghost shark ramblings. With preparations for a massive July 4th celebration rapidly approaching, they soon find themselves embroiled in a conspiracy of sex and murder involving the town’s wealthiest and most powerful citizens. Unprepared to contend with a Ghost Shark that can hunt on land, sea, as well as anywhere there is enough water or rain to sustain its phantom form, Blaise and Ava must uncover the truth about the towns dark past or fall victim to the Ghost Shark.

Intrigued? I know I am! Make sure to set your DVR to record this cinematic masterpiece premiering August 22, 2013 on Syfy. And because I know you all cannot wait that long, here is a teaser to wet your noodle.

Luke… I am your Father! Now get a haircut!

Monday, July 1st, 2013

For those who know me personally, I am a huge nerd. Proud of it too. One of my many nerd loves is Star Wars and I was shocked to see that Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back where Luke finds out Vader is his father was heavily edited. Here is the dialog in its entirity. It’s a bit long, but a good’un.


A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke… I am your father!

Luke: No. It can’t be. That’s not true. That’s impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke… you know them to be true.


Darth Vader: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! … Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn’t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: But… I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it’s not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… Nobody loved me… waahhh wahhh!”

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… the only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut! You look like a hippy!

Forget American Idol!

Monday, March 21st, 2011

It’s the newest craze hitting the streets since kids started doing whip-its. Want your kid to be the next Biebs or Hannah Montana? I know, you are probably saying to yourself “But my kid is tone deaf and sounds like Marlee Matlin when they try and sing…” That doesn’t matter! All you need is $2000 and a lack of dignity and respect for yourself, child and family and they will auto-tune the shit of your little angles voice! Your kid can sing about being an “Ordinary Pop Star” or teach other young’ins about the days of the week. Did you know that Saturday comes after Friday and then comes Sunday? I wouldn’t have known unless Rebecca Black taught me and let me tell you, once I found out I was so excited. I, I, I so excited!

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