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Luke… I am your Father! Now get a haircut!


For those who know me personally, I am a huge nerd. Proud of it too. One of my many nerd loves is Star Wars and I was shocked to see that Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back where Luke finds out Vader is his father was heavily edited. Here is the dialog in its entirity. It’s a bit long, but a good’un.

 

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke… I am your father!

Luke: No. It can’t be. That’s not true. That’s impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke… you know them to be true.

Luke: NOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! … Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn’t even levitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: But… I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it’s not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… Nobody loved me… waahhh wahhh!”

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… the only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut! You look like a hippy!

Posted by: Tim Kamen On July 1st, 2013 Filed Under Media & Entertainment, Randomness | Post Your Comments


Start Button, Start Button! Wherefore art thou Start Button?


I am a firm believer that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I loved pretty much everything about Windows 7 and when Windows 8 came out I was hesitant to upgrade. Reluctantly I did since I work in IT and I wanted to be familiar with it so I can better troubleshoot things in the future. First off as most of you know even if you do not use it, the user interface has drastically changed and personally I am not a fan. I see it being great for tablets and mobile devices, but as an everyday workstation it’s just “meh” and can be uber confusing for non tech savy folks.

One of the biggest pet peeves most people have with it is the lack of an actual Start Button and the classic Start Menu on the Desktop interface. When you are so used to using it and essentially navigating your system with your eyes closed this is a big curve ball to get used to. Many out there have found free third party replacements that will add this feature back, but most if not all are junk and not really good. If you are willing to pay a few bucks then I would suggest Start8 by Stardock, but there really is no need to and I will explain that in a bit.

There was a slight glimmer of hope when Windows 8.1 was announced and it was stated that they were adding back the Start Button and Menu. This had people virtually high-fiving Microsoft for realizing they made a mistake and were willing to fix it. Well long story short, Microsoft backed down and even went as far as stating that they never had plans to bring back the classic Start Button and Menu. Instead they are offering what is being dubbed as the Metro Button which basically just allows people to Shut Down their machine and access a few power user features like the Control Panel and Run. Essentially they are telling people to piss off regarding their legitimate complaints and just get used to how Windows 8 works. Good guy Microsoft…

Like I said there are free and even paid options, but why pay when it’s already there? Yes, that’s right. The coding and functionality for the Start Button and Menu you grew to love and lost is still there. They are just hidden and the sad part is, it is really easy to enable it, it’s just most people are completely unaware this option even exists! Well hopefully I can do you all a public service and “put right what once went wrong” like my hero Dr. Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap by showing you how to bring it back much like how I am bringing back the Bow Tie and how JT brought back Sexy. YEAH!

 

Step 1: Access the Run program by hitting Windows + R and type in regedit.exe and then hit Enter key to launch the Registry Editor.

start-1

Step 2: Locate the following key in the Registry editor:

HKEY_CURRENT_USERSoftwareMicrosoftWindowsCurrentVersionExplorer

start-2

Step 3: There in the right pane you will see an option RPEnabled, double click it and change its value from 1 to 0 to revert your preference to the older style windows 7 start menu.

start-3

 

That’s it. Your beautiful button is back. Now if you decide to ever go back to the way it was originally simply follow these same steps and just revert the RPEnabled value back to 1 and you are good to go. Now I cannot be 100% certain if this fix will still work when 8.1 starts rolling out. Rumor has it they are looking to break this functionality, however as stated that is just a rumor for the time being. Only time will tell. Until then, enjoy!

Posted by: Tim Kamen On June 27th, 2013 Filed Under How-To, Technology | Post Your Comments


Sleep Taking Timmy Ep. 1 – xDARTHTIMMYx and Sir Wigglez vs. The Dirty Hobo and Rodney Dangerfield


In this episode listen to Timmy as he pledges to seek revenge against his arch nemesis the Dirty Hobo for kicking his cat Sir Wigglez. Not even the late great Rodney Dangerfield is safe.

Posted by: Tim Kamen On September 19th, 2011 Filed Under Sleep Talking Timmy | Post Your Comments


Forget American Idol!


It’s the newest craze hitting the streets since kids started doing whip-its. Want your kid to be the next Biebs or Hannah Montana? I know, you are probably saying to yourself “But my kid is tone deaf and sounds like Marlee Matlin when they try and sing…” That doesn’t matter! All you need is $2000 and a lack of dignity and respect for yourself, child and family and they will auto-tune the shit of your little angles voice! Your kid can sing about being an “Ordinary Pop Star” or teach other young’ins about the days of the week. Did you know that Saturday comes after Friday and then comes Sunday? I wouldn’t have known unless Rebecca Black taught me and let me tell you, once I found out I was so excited. I, I, I so excited!

Posted by: Tim Kamen On March 21st, 2011 Filed Under Media & Entertainment, Randomness | Post Your Comments


In Honor of St. Patrick’s Day… Pt. 2


I give you more drunk chicks. You’re welcome.

Class is getting bat shit hammered at a wedding and passing out on the dance floor.

 

We have all slept one off  in a tub before in a drunker stuper right?

 

I am still trying to figure out if she is crying in shame or if she has her hand there just in case she wakes up and starts puking.

 

False advertisement! Fun does not include drinking Natty Ice!

 

At least she made it to the toilet… Sort of.

Posted by: Tim Kamen On March 17th, 2011 Filed Under Randomness | Post Your Comments


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